The post tat you have been waiting for...

how shld i start... hmm... i noe... lets start with how i view about my frens...

normally i dun pick on wat kind of frens to be with... no particular preference for any kind of frens... juz wanna noe more ppl... hopeful they dun judge mi by the 'cover'... i'm juz an ordinary boy whose still clueless about his own future... whom haven got to taste the feeling of love, break up, etc... i really enjoy the company of frens around mi even though i'm always the one tat get neglected the most... they always have topics to talk about which i can't join in... why..? i dunno... they dun share, i dunno, wat can i do...? so i juz stick around and listen lor...

one may wonder y u dun see mi smile alot... well... basically my character is more to the mature side, rather than 'acting cool'... i dun talk a lot cause i can't find anything to talk about, unless its on something i noe... (on wat...? maybe in some posts later...) back to my frens... so far my frens have been of good companies... not so much of any stray frens... but tat luck seems to run out in terms of gf... at my age... some ppl may have gone into relationship like going market shopping... lolz... no offences to anyone... some juz like mi still a lonely self... some ppl my feel offended by the way i try to improve relationship to more than frens... i wanna get closer, but sometimes it juz doesn't work out... which makes mi go deeper in my shell and hide myself from the world... making mi more 沉默，但我不是沉默的羔羊，我有话要讲。
its not liked i tried to ask anyone to be my gf be4... seems i dun even dare to try for the fear of failure...? not actually... i need to find tat person who have the same feeling as i do for her be4 i'm willing the make the move... so far... no one gave mi tat feeling yet... moreover... i'm not a sweet talking person, so sometimes the words i used may not be appropriate and may hurt other ppl's feeling... 说多错多，干脆别说算了。

bringing the focus back to this post... talking about who i liked be4... actually its more of a 好感, the feeling tat tat person is very nice and she maybe the rite person as a gf... i'm not implying tat other frens are not good... some are pretty... some are clever.. some may not be but they are still my frens and i respect and like all of them... juz tat its purely frenship... wat i look out in gals not mainly the looks but personality and character... u may think 'ya rite'... but its true... if u noe the ppl tat i'm talking about later... u will find tat looks is not the top of my priority but tat doesn't mean they are not pretty ok... 情人眼里出西施。different ppl have different tastes and likings... no point arguing whose is rite or wrong... hmm.. shall we get started....?

Name: pa**y...(seems not of u noe who she is.. might as well dun put her name, in case it may bring unhappy events to her)
Time: when i was in primary 4 or 5 i guess... earlier than that i dun think i have any thoughts about relationship...
How it comes about: she seems to be the 1st gal i liked... think she was sitting by my side or near mi... can't remember tat well... almost everyday we will argue, play, 耍嘴皮，闹来闹去，also course together with others tat sitting around us... seems like 不吵不相识。in front of her, i'll always seem to be naughty maybe... playful... calling her names... eg. chimpa**y...(clear example wat her name sounds like) which come to think of it... quite bad sia... lolz... looking back... i seems to be more active... but now... haiz... btw... she's not those tat juz sit back and take the scolding one... she'll also join in and fool around...
How she looks like: can't really describle her feature... i got poor memory... tat time her hair was pony tail... still remember her looks vividly... (she's from choir)

Next up...

Name:X***I
Time:It would be near the end of primary 6...
How it comes about: again its a gal sitting beside mi... called , but juz feeling tat she's nice person... nothing more... she's a clever gal... graduated from one of the few top JC...
How she looks like: hmm... can say she's not tat tall... above shoulder length hair...

Name:S***Y...
Time: pri 6 again...
How it comes about: dunno y i've come to like her... can't remember much also... from a grp of gals in clear...
How she looks like: average length hair... fair looking... actually taller than mi at tat time... lolz...

Name: ****I...
Time: end of pri 6
How it comes about: one of the gals sitting rite at the front of class(clearest hint). liked her all the way till a few yrs back... she remained single through those times.. but i'm juz unable to get myself to tell her... and now she got herself a boyfren... whose also my close fren... wishing her well... tat's all i can and will do now...
How she looks like: hmm... fair... shoulder length hair...

To ensure that our frenship can keep on running on... the actual names will not be revealed... any similarity is juz pure coincidences... so... everything its up to ur imagination... i'll not clarify any doubts...hehehe... All three except the 2nd one i have strong feelings for... the last one i tried to get closer but think i'm not her type la... you may think its 花心, but wat to do..? i'm not a very expressive person, 背动多于主动。我只能默默守着这份单恋。

Name: **e *i**
Time:sec 1 &2
How it comes about: sitting juz 2 seats behind mi, she seems to be the gal tat i've feeling for... a nice gal... clever as well... really wanted to get to noe her more, but once again... can't overcome myself to do it... she's from uniform grp... maybe it was the smile... or her personality... tat made mi fell for her...
How she looks like: nice looking gal with short hair...

sry for the lacked of information... my brain really dun work tat well in remembering all the details as it seems like it ended as soon as it started... but being myself... all these were kept within mi... nvr disclosed to anyone... until this particular gal...

Name: **a* **n
Time: sec 3 onwards...
How it comes about: sitting beside mi... her carefree personality really attract mi... cheerful most of the time... moreover we had a common interest at tat time(no longer holds now)... but she already had a bf... so i'm juz trying to be a close fren... but seems too close to her... one incident and we stopped talking for near half a yr...(all i asked was her she view mi as a person/fren, maybe too much for her, sensing bad intention from mi...?)
tried to seek help from a male fren, from my pri sch and also her classmate in lower sec, to help smoothen things out but guess time is the onli element tat helps healing... so i let the situation/tension cool for sometime be4 we are back on talking terms... wishing her well in her relationship...
How she looks like: nice looking... quite cute to mi... short hair... quite sociable...

Name: *m**a*
Time: sec4 onwards
How it comes about: got in contact a few times outside classroom activities and realised tat she's a very nice person... sitting ard 2 row away... she's also quite blur at tat time... nice looking... a sports player... she's also the 1st gal tat i really chatted on the phone... though nothing much was talked about... the chat lasted at least an hour... and she was the one suggested to chat one the phone... dun think she realised it meant this much to mi... too bad i dun dared to really woo her... lolz...
every now and then she will send regards asking my well being... which is nice of her...
How she looks like: cute, fairly good looking... tied hair at tat time... blur... lolz... very sociable... sporty...

being the onli person tat noe who i liked at tat time, he kept the secret well... until somehow, someday... the other guys found out as well... they claim tat they used elimination method, but somehow i dun trust them... lolz... they are the grp of frens we hang out most of the time together... doing mock paper exams near o-lvl together... playing cards... but somehow... this closeness drifted further and further away after we entered JC...

seems tat i can't find anyone to share anything anymore... keeping everything to myself.... like ming wei said in my frenster testimonials," deep down inside, i guess..Jeff is a very complicated person! hahaz.. he is pretty quiet and but im sure i noe him well enough to conclude that this chap is a real kind soul..."

that seems to conclude the ppl i liked... there are a few more tat i admired... but those furthest we can get is juz frens... either they are too chio with many suitors... or they juz dun like mi.. lolz... then came the news from a gal called Mi**y... saying tat a gal liked mi once...!!!??? err... quite stunned... actually got ppl liked mi...? lolz... can't believe it... and can't prove it... cause she still keeping the secret for her fren till now... which i respect it and ppl who can keep secret... these ppl are hard to find as there are alot of backstabbing going on in the world out there...

Entering JC... most entertaining and fun time i had, but also the darkest time in my life... 1st time i got retained... resulting in me getting the worst teacher in my life... and i tot tat my pri sch discipline mistress was bossy and hard on us... how wrong was i... haiz...

wat i really lacked as a person is being sociable... for those in my class i am la... but outside of my own class i dun do much socialising... except in my CCA... hence this result in the limited social circle i'm having... thus complaining like i dun have frens like tat... met a few nice and gd souls in my JC class... but that's juz tat... nvr really tot of anything further really...

until this yr... saw 2 gals tat i really liked to noe better...

Name: Y*** Q**
Time: during orientation of my repeated yr
How it comes about: she was one of the OGLs of that yr... her smile is really nice... seems to have a gd personality... when i see tat yellow windbreaker... i noe its her... though i nvr really look her in the eyes... everytime she walked by... i'll juz carry on doing my things... when she doesn't notice mi... i'll make a few peek at her... admiring is all i can do... found out recently tat she's of the same age as mi and not a singaporean...
How she looks like: pretty looking to mi... long hair...

Name: W**N**
Time: during this past 2 yrs...
How it comes about: once again the trademark to regconise her is the colour yellow... her bag... really looks cute... always nearby... so see her most of the time... took some time for mi to discover her name... looked at the namelist at her class... lolz... the one gal tat yw always missed out when i trying to show him how she looked during love festa this yr...
How she looks like: not tall... cute looking... fair...

Summary: Actually i liked gals with long hair... but the statistic above show otherwise... as a person tat doesn't talk much... i hope to find a gal tat's cheerful and really compliment to mi rather than of the same type... but seems difficult for mi to find any...
I'm not handsome... not tall... not thin... plagued with injuries and pains... not rich... not smart... wat else do i got to attract the opposite sex...? hmmm....?

要是真的遇到真爱，我会毫不犹豫，痛痛快快的去爱一次。希望这初恋是我一生的唯一。

tat's all folks... hope u have a fun time reading... lolz.... though many will find it tiring reading blog at such length... sry... appreciate any comments...