sometime... seeing the one u love, being happy and treated lovingly by her other halve, is another kind of FEELING... in the positive way...
loving someone doesn't mean owning them... tat's only one of the ways to express it... sometimes u know tat u can only do 'this much' for her/him... so the next best thing is wishing the best for her/him... praying in the heart that her other halve can give her as much as u can, if not more... tat will make ur heart settled/in peace...
forcing things to happen should nvr be resorted to... coz things will not always turn out pretty...
if u are currently holding the hands of ur love ones... nvr try to let go.. dun loosen the grip... or u may let slip and lose it...
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my pes status is C1L2 now following my flatfoot and nose problem... thus my shoulder injury doesn't allow any further downgrading as its of the same level...
pls do not accuse mi of faking or trying to get myself excuse... if u do... then i dun think i deserve a fren like u... coz coming to the state i'm in(having an injuried/problematic shoulder) is more or less the cause of the job(serving NS) i've been doing for the past 1yr 4mths... tat's wat i think... the strains and stresses on my shoulder seems to taken its toll...
currently waiting for the HR side to process my situation... it will be greatly appreciated... if i managed to change my vocation to another...
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
Latest...!
I'm doing duty now.. this morning juz went to see the specialist regarding my left shoulder at TTSH... the conclusion...?
the surgery is set on 16 Jan next yr... the cost... a total of $3200...
here's the breakdown...
the doctor say there's some problem with the ligament on my left shoulder, so he recommend that i go for the first part of the ops which is cutting a small hole at my shoulder... then they will poke a camera inside to look at the situation... if they see any problem, they will retify it with the second part of the ops.... like sewing and stuffs... these 2 parts cost S$800 and S$1000 respectively... and the amt tat can be deducted from medisave are $800 and $850 respectively... it means tat $150 is payable by cash only... tat's not the end... there's also a cost for implant(screws or something, they didn't mention clearly) which cost a whooping $1200 CASH...! tat's the killer... worse still that nurse say its already subsidised... what?
even though my mum say dun worry abt the money, its the health tat's more important... i dun wish to waste so much money especially now when my mum is not earn much...
after the visit to TTSH... i went to chinatown to see a chinese sen sai for another new treatment... he also say it will take mths to see if there will be any improvement before the ops... at least he's cheaper that the other doctor at bt batok... but still... can they really cure my problem without surgery? tat only time will tell won't it...?
modern/western treatment - $3200, $1350 payable in cash for surgery... plus few hundred dollars for follow-up appointments and physio... as it will take 6-9mths to recover after surgery... less than 1% risks from surgery due to.... loss of blood, brain damage, infections, etc...
pain? put to slp... can wake up? zzzz... operation and discharge can be on same day, if nothing goes wrong...
traditional treatment - $30-$40 weekly until healed(mths? yrs?) cost will be building up over time... risks? i have no idea whether there will be any... pain? of course... they dun put u to slp juz to 'tui' u here and there...
well... it seems tat traditional treatment will be implemented till the day of surgery approaches...
the surgery is set on 16 Jan next yr... the cost... a total of $3200...
here's the breakdown...
the doctor say there's some problem with the ligament on my left shoulder, so he recommend that i go for the first part of the ops which is cutting a small hole at my shoulder... then they will poke a camera inside to look at the situation... if they see any problem, they will retify it with the second part of the ops.... like sewing and stuffs... these 2 parts cost S$800 and S$1000 respectively... and the amt tat can be deducted from medisave are $800 and $850 respectively... it means tat $150 is payable by cash only... tat's not the end... there's also a cost for implant(screws or something, they didn't mention clearly) which cost a whooping $1200 CASH...! tat's the killer... worse still that nurse say its already subsidised... what?
even though my mum say dun worry abt the money, its the health tat's more important... i dun wish to waste so much money especially now when my mum is not earn much...
after the visit to TTSH... i went to chinatown to see a chinese sen sai for another new treatment... he also say it will take mths to see if there will be any improvement before the ops... at least he's cheaper that the other doctor at bt batok... but still... can they really cure my problem without surgery? tat only time will tell won't it...?
modern/western treatment - $3200, $1350 payable in cash for surgery... plus few hundred dollars for follow-up appointments and physio... as it will take 6-9mths to recover after surgery... less than 1% risks from surgery due to.... loss of blood, brain damage, infections, etc...
pain? put to slp... can wake up? zzzz... operation and discharge can be on same day, if nothing goes wrong...
traditional treatment - $30-$40 weekly until healed(mths? yrs?) cost will be building up over time... risks? i have no idea whether there will be any... pain? of course... they dun put u to slp juz to 'tui' u here and there...
well... it seems tat traditional treatment will be implemented till the day of surgery approaches...
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Juz some random stuffs...
while... a break after gaining some momentum on blogging last week...
went for the second session of the 'tui na' on friday... well... it was a rather painful experience... i can feel some improvement on my left shoulder... however it seems tat its only a temporary effect as shoulder is still aching quite often... but improvement is always a good sign and better than going for ops... coming monday i'll be going to see the specialist regarding the ops, whether to do it or not and hopefully get some official document to support my case of my problematic shoulder...
the coming week will be rather hectic for mi... monday and thurs i'll be doing duty... tues, wed and fri i have night classes... so it mean the whole weekdays i will not be abt to eat dinner at home or even see my mum... lolz... when i get home, my mum will be slp-ing already... coz she wakes early for work, reach home at 7 and goes to slp at 10... tiring...
juz some little facts/things abt mi...
1) I'm a Liverpool fan if u still haven't notice(shame on u then... lolz) back in those days when u still can catch EPL for free on free-to-air TV... i started to support them ever since... i'm loyal enough to stay on as a fan since and will continue to be, even though they still fail to deliver as the EPL champions... well lets all hope its sooner than later... You'll Never Walk Alone...
Also, following them has its price, i does buy liverpool related stuffs and follow its branding(meaning jersey sponsors)... it started out with a Liverpool cap and i've been trying to collect different ones since... and its all originals... the black reebok cap and now the red adidas'... if u does notice, i was buying reebok products back in sec sch days and now switching to adidas...
reebok stuffs i got are a vest with a hood(trying to act jay chou back there, coz his attire always have a hood? lolz)... then i got the liverpool champs league jersey, which back then when i got it, it was still rare on the streets... but the thing i regard was putting my name and gerrard's no. 17 on it, which was fake material... then i got myself a liverpool reebok shoe, which i doubt there's anyone wearing it... coz i haven't seen anyone... now i'm looking for a liverpool shoe tat's adidas... think its not out yet...
the 1st adidas product i got was a 21st birthday gift from s25 frens... then i get myself a black/yellow adidas sports shoe for the new yr... and not forgetting my 1st street soccer boots, which is adidas too... haha... well... i can only say tat i dun have much fashion sense... juz try to follow sports branding onli... during my KL trip i also gt a liverpool t-shirt... hehe... now i'm aiming for a liverpool coat/jacket/sweater/windbreaker, what ever u call it... and also continue my collection for the liverpool caps... other colours and designs...
thinking of these, i had a buisness idea lately... dunno whether its already there or not... or even workable... well... juz thinking only... haha...
2) if one keeps on shouting and arguing and quarrelling with ur bf/gf over the phone, does that help in relationships...? maybe its the nature of the person... i dunno wat kind of person i'll be when i'm in a relationship, tat's still a long way to go for mi to know and for u to find out... lolz..
3) if during normal times u show little concern for others or held ur helping hands in ur pockets, do expect much in return when u needs a favour... coz for mi certainly i'll not answer it... maybe tat's wat i'm stubborn in... another thing is i strong dislike my frens to use vulgarities freely... as in u say those words like u are born with it naturally and it juz come out from ur mouth without u having and control over it... tat's terrible... if u can't hold ur anger and let slip then its still acceptable... but if its becoming a 2nd or 3rd language to u, then its not a good sign is it...? like every 3 lines u say it contains a word of it...! its a definitely a no no to mi as it irritates mi... and dun think u have been saying it so often that u can't even control it... u are juz play lazy to have self control...
everyone has their own personnality... some can be serious, some can be playful... some young at age but mature at heart, while some dunno how to behave at their age... yes... we can be playful coz we are young at hearts, but we also know when's the time for what and exercise self control when needed... - this is not meant for anyone, if u feel offended, well it juz means u are tat kind of person i'm talking abt...
4) i was wondering... won't it be great if u really find a partner in life thru singing...? this was an inspiration/thought i got after watching the show called High School Musical... its a really cool show and the actress was really pretty..! Vanessa Hudgens... after seeing her in action and hearing her voice i went to look up on her profile to find tat she's 2 yrs younger than mi and she released an album called 'V'... went to listen to it and found tat her album it not bad... got a few songs i really like... well.. anyway its juz a thought i have for the above statement... Singing is my second life now... only thing can replace it, but only time will tell...
*any offensive comments is greatly discouraged from my tagboard if u wanna argue abt wat i posted... thanks...
went for the second session of the 'tui na' on friday... well... it was a rather painful experience... i can feel some improvement on my left shoulder... however it seems tat its only a temporary effect as shoulder is still aching quite often... but improvement is always a good sign and better than going for ops... coming monday i'll be going to see the specialist regarding the ops, whether to do it or not and hopefully get some official document to support my case of my problematic shoulder...
the coming week will be rather hectic for mi... monday and thurs i'll be doing duty... tues, wed and fri i have night classes... so it mean the whole weekdays i will not be abt to eat dinner at home or even see my mum... lolz... when i get home, my mum will be slp-ing already... coz she wakes early for work, reach home at 7 and goes to slp at 10... tiring...
juz some little facts/things abt mi...
1) I'm a Liverpool fan if u still haven't notice(shame on u then... lolz) back in those days when u still can catch EPL for free on free-to-air TV... i started to support them ever since... i'm loyal enough to stay on as a fan since and will continue to be, even though they still fail to deliver as the EPL champions... well lets all hope its sooner than later... You'll Never Walk Alone...
Also, following them has its price, i does buy liverpool related stuffs and follow its branding(meaning jersey sponsors)... it started out with a Liverpool cap and i've been trying to collect different ones since... and its all originals... the black reebok cap and now the red adidas'... if u does notice, i was buying reebok products back in sec sch days and now switching to adidas...
reebok stuffs i got are a vest with a hood(trying to act jay chou back there, coz his attire always have a hood? lolz)... then i got the liverpool champs league jersey, which back then when i got it, it was still rare on the streets... but the thing i regard was putting my name and gerrard's no. 17 on it, which was fake material... then i got myself a liverpool reebok shoe, which i doubt there's anyone wearing it... coz i haven't seen anyone... now i'm looking for a liverpool shoe tat's adidas... think its not out yet...
the 1st adidas product i got was a 21st birthday gift from s25 frens... then i get myself a black/yellow adidas sports shoe for the new yr... and not forgetting my 1st street soccer boots, which is adidas too... haha... well... i can only say tat i dun have much fashion sense... juz try to follow sports branding onli... during my KL trip i also gt a liverpool t-shirt... hehe... now i'm aiming for a liverpool coat/jacket/sweater/windbreaker, what ever u call it... and also continue my collection for the liverpool caps... other colours and designs...
thinking of these, i had a buisness idea lately... dunno whether its already there or not... or even workable... well... juz thinking only... haha...
2) if one keeps on shouting and arguing and quarrelling with ur bf/gf over the phone, does that help in relationships...? maybe its the nature of the person... i dunno wat kind of person i'll be when i'm in a relationship, tat's still a long way to go for mi to know and for u to find out... lolz..
3) if during normal times u show little concern for others or held ur helping hands in ur pockets, do expect much in return when u needs a favour... coz for mi certainly i'll not answer it... maybe tat's wat i'm stubborn in... another thing is i strong dislike my frens to use vulgarities freely... as in u say those words like u are born with it naturally and it juz come out from ur mouth without u having and control over it... tat's terrible... if u can't hold ur anger and let slip then its still acceptable... but if its becoming a 2nd or 3rd language to u, then its not a good sign is it...? like every 3 lines u say it contains a word of it...! its a definitely a no no to mi as it irritates mi... and dun think u have been saying it so often that u can't even control it... u are juz play lazy to have self control...
everyone has their own personnality... some can be serious, some can be playful... some young at age but mature at heart, while some dunno how to behave at their age... yes... we can be playful coz we are young at hearts, but we also know when's the time for what and exercise self control when needed... - this is not meant for anyone, if u feel offended, well it juz means u are tat kind of person i'm talking abt...
4) i was wondering... won't it be great if u really find a partner in life thru singing...? this was an inspiration/thought i got after watching the show called High School Musical... its a really cool show and the actress was really pretty..! Vanessa Hudgens... after seeing her in action and hearing her voice i went to look up on her profile to find tat she's 2 yrs younger than mi and she released an album called 'V'... went to listen to it and found tat her album it not bad... got a few songs i really like... well.. anyway its juz a thought i have for the above statement... Singing is my second life now... only thing can replace it, but only time will tell...
*any offensive comments is greatly discouraged from my tagboard if u wanna argue abt wat i posted... thanks...
Saturday, August 11, 2007
my shoulder and something abt frens...
on fri... i went to see the chinese physician/sen sai whom was recommended by another in his trade... here's wat he came into conclusion about my case...
well... he said that my back muscle of my left shoulder was weak... in fact too weak to pull the bone, thus it becomes loose and it now gives the jerking effect... he says even the ops may not be helpful(can't remember his exact words)... he doesn't say how long it will take for mi to recover but ask mi to continue treatment at his clinic... which juz go over there and get some massage or 'tui-ing' on my left shoulder... provided i dun strained my muscle again... i need to continue to do some strengthening exercise to see inprovement... which i still dun see any improvement yet after the trip over... he also say that when i get old i will have a higher chance of dislocating my left shoulder... wah... that's encouraging... lolz... now i dunno which treatment to go for..? the chinese one didn't give mi any promise or exact dates for recovery nor can he write an excuse to my camp MO, while the western requires surgery/risk and takes 6 to 9 mths to heal... and maybe give mi some status...
now what will u do...?
its quite saddening and bored to see a person with a hp and its only use is to play games and music... tat person is mi... i dun get msg-es(except ee teck who once a while send mi) or calls from frens... so envy of others who get accompanied by frens, physcially or thru hp...
when u sms ppl to ask for some help... u expect at least a reply saying whether yes or no, can or cannot, know or dunno... but there's always some ppl who chooses to ignore or dun reply... why is there such person? so what do u expect in return if u request for some help...?
guess no one understands nor cares...
guess i'll be alone and stuck at home for weeks to come...
haha... how come i get to blog so much this past week...? too free lor... at home nothing to do and too much things to say out...
well... he said that my back muscle of my left shoulder was weak... in fact too weak to pull the bone, thus it becomes loose and it now gives the jerking effect... he says even the ops may not be helpful(can't remember his exact words)... he doesn't say how long it will take for mi to recover but ask mi to continue treatment at his clinic... which juz go over there and get some massage or 'tui-ing' on my left shoulder... provided i dun strained my muscle again... i need to continue to do some strengthening exercise to see inprovement... which i still dun see any improvement yet after the trip over... he also say that when i get old i will have a higher chance of dislocating my left shoulder... wah... that's encouraging... lolz... now i dunno which treatment to go for..? the chinese one didn't give mi any promise or exact dates for recovery nor can he write an excuse to my camp MO, while the western requires surgery/risk and takes 6 to 9 mths to heal... and maybe give mi some status...
now what will u do...?
its quite saddening and bored to see a person with a hp and its only use is to play games and music... tat person is mi... i dun get msg-es(except ee teck who once a while send mi) or calls from frens... so envy of others who get accompanied by frens, physcially or thru hp...
when u sms ppl to ask for some help... u expect at least a reply saying whether yes or no, can or cannot, know or dunno... but there's always some ppl who chooses to ignore or dun reply... why is there such person? so what do u expect in return if u request for some help...?
guess no one understands nor cares...
guess i'll be alone and stuck at home for weeks to come...
haha... how come i get to blog so much this past week...? too free lor... at home nothing to do and too much things to say out...
Thursday, August 09, 2007
The only thing that is worse than one is NONE
JT - someone: err... do i know mi or u r just a stranger?
yes... i do smile... when?
when watching jacky wu's variety shows(i watch his 3 latest shows from taiwan weekly), i will laugh my head off... he's one of the best medicine ard...(laughing is the best medicine haven u heard?) lolz...
when taking pics... well... this is consider hard for mi... as i dun smile tat often... sometimes when i take pics and the cameraman is slow... i can feel the edge of my lips 'shaking/vibrating'... hehe... laughable... not used to it...
when i'm with my frens... but only at times... or when leong's around.. haha... no insult intended... he's a good guy...
but smiling doesn't always mean u are happy inside... it may juz be a temporary rush of happy emotions u are feeling..
its true it take 2 to clap, but if the other hand doesn't wanna clap u can't force it to either... moreover sometimes a person's tolerance is limited, especially when its being breach over and over, it shortens... until every little thing can trigger a reaction... that's for mi... but u can't expect mi to be the one that's always trying to mend it... sometimes it take a little respect and a sorry to heal these things...
respect... what does it mean to u? do u expect to have everyone respecting u? sure u do.. who doesn't.. but can u still expect respect in return if u dun give them in the 1st place? i can respect u while i also expect u to do the same... but it u take for granted of my goodwill then u can jolly well take nothing from mi... this applies not juz to frens but to ppl even closer...
yes... i do smile... when?
when watching jacky wu's variety shows(i watch his 3 latest shows from taiwan weekly), i will laugh my head off... he's one of the best medicine ard...(laughing is the best medicine haven u heard?) lolz...
when taking pics... well... this is consider hard for mi... as i dun smile tat often... sometimes when i take pics and the cameraman is slow... i can feel the edge of my lips 'shaking/vibrating'... hehe... laughable... not used to it...
when i'm with my frens... but only at times... or when leong's around.. haha... no insult intended... he's a good guy...
but smiling doesn't always mean u are happy inside... it may juz be a temporary rush of happy emotions u are feeling..
its true it take 2 to clap, but if the other hand doesn't wanna clap u can't force it to either... moreover sometimes a person's tolerance is limited, especially when its being breach over and over, it shortens... until every little thing can trigger a reaction... that's for mi... but u can't expect mi to be the one that's always trying to mend it... sometimes it take a little respect and a sorry to heal these things...
respect... what does it mean to u? do u expect to have everyone respecting u? sure u do.. who doesn't.. but can u still expect respect in return if u dun give them in the 1st place? i can respect u while i also expect u to do the same... but it u take for granted of my goodwill then u can jolly well take nothing from mi... this applies not juz to frens but to ppl even closer...
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
wat hurts more? frens or my shoulder?
it takes hours to make a new fren...
months to develop a frenship...
yrs to become best frens...
but seconds or moments to destroy everything...
then it takes mths again to rebuild it....
and another moments to demolish it again... and again...
nobody understands, nor do they try or cares...
guess its better off alone... most of the time... like there's any choice...
after the sen sai 'tui-ing' of my left shoulder yesterday... i think it got a little worse... now its aching more painfully than usual... i'm feeling more of the jerking of my joints... how how..? dun really wanna go for surgery but how to solve the problem when doing my current job is juz making it worse...
months to develop a frenship...
yrs to become best frens...
but seconds or moments to destroy everything...
then it takes mths again to rebuild it....
and another moments to demolish it again... and again...
nobody understands, nor do they try or cares...
guess its better off alone... most of the time... like there's any choice...
after the sen sai 'tui-ing' of my left shoulder yesterday... i think it got a little worse... now its aching more painfully than usual... i'm feeling more of the jerking of my joints... how how..? dun really wanna go for surgery but how to solve the problem when doing my current job is juz making it worse...
Monday, August 06, 2007
All is not right... all is not the same anymore...
i have nothing much to say anymore... its no longer the good old days anymore... changes after changes... it thus far lead to stuffs we don't wish to see but still became inevitable...
juz came back from my appt for my left shoulder... the specialist says tat there is something wrong with it and he disagree with the MRI scan(which i have no idea how to look at the scan when he was browsing thru it)... he say the earliest ops will be in jan and it will take 6-9 mths to recover... err... i dunno abt it... still need to consult my mom abt it... coz she wanted mi to go see chinese physician... tat's wat i'm scared of coz sometimes they juz 'practice' their skills and u dunno wat to expect... u may end up better or worse or no improvement at all...
changes after changes... but i still end up getting lonelier than ever... its not really the lack of companies... or is it...? the renewal of it has almost come to a stop while some of the old ones are going more havoc... i dun think i'm portraying a good pic now.. so i shall stop...
juz came back from my appt for my left shoulder... the specialist says tat there is something wrong with it and he disagree with the MRI scan(which i have no idea how to look at the scan when he was browsing thru it)... he say the earliest ops will be in jan and it will take 6-9 mths to recover... err... i dunno abt it... still need to consult my mom abt it... coz she wanted mi to go see chinese physician... tat's wat i'm scared of coz sometimes they juz 'practice' their skills and u dunno wat to expect... u may end up better or worse or no improvement at all...
changes after changes... but i still end up getting lonelier than ever... its not really the lack of companies... or is it...? the renewal of it has almost come to a stop while some of the old ones are going more havoc... i dun think i'm portraying a good pic now.. so i shall stop...
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Nights out at Vivo City 1
the scenery outside the restaurent Shin Kushiya? night shots are always hard to take especially when it needs slower shutter spd and more time to take in the lights... even with anti-shake function, shaky hands will not get u a good picture... as seen in here...
The white and red Liverpool cap from adidas... hmmm... i have a black lfc cap from reebok, now a red one from adidas when i got it fro
m JB citysq... and i got evan a white one.. hope there will be new designs coming out later on...Wat's for dinner...? Shin Kushiya... a jap restaurent... we sort of had an a-la-cart meal... ordering different food and sharing them... err... not quite filling as the bills pile up...
Nights out at VIvo city 2
the final bill...
relaxing at the roof of vivo... the guys were busy playing their PSPs...
relaxing at the roof of vivo... the guys were busy playing their PSPs...
not myself...?
yup... as told my some of my frens... i wasn't really myself... i'm more quiet than usual... thought i was like tat all along...? hmmm... maybe i am getting more quiet... things have happened... and i'm beginning to lose faith in some things... some friends... these are out of my control... it does happen... and i can do nothing abt it... i'm going to say until here... the rest is up to time...
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Amy and HouQuan 21st Birthday @ K-Box 1
yammmmmmmmmm..... Seng.....!
Kevin looks like a big boss sitting with 2 bodyguards singing beside him... lolz...
the gang...
Amy and HouQuan 21st Birthday @ K-Box 2
Leong switching to self high mode...
Hq and amy...
pics moment from vids... everyone lets stand up and sing..!
Amy and HouQuan 21st Birthday @ K-Box 5
Birthday Gal and Boy..
BIrthday gal and boy blowing and cutting cake..!
Amy and HouQuan 21st Birthday @ K-Box 6
A duet... by the ladies...A picture moment from the vid taken...
pics taken from my pda, looks lousy
Amy and HouQuan 21st Birthday @ K-Box 7
liling and mi...
Leong and kevin playing number guessing game...
sitting ard relaxing... listening to music and singing along...
Amy and HouQuan 21st Birthday @ K-Box 8
self-explainatory... lolz... 
After K-box, we went to Mac to have some supper... coz its the only available 24hrs foodchain nearby... had a small chat up before they share cabs and went home... i, as usual, walked back home... uploaded the pics to my com with the last few power juice i can squeeze from my camera before going to slp.. by then it was ard 4.30am...
