Sunday, April 30, 2006

Random Thoughts...

How can one be considered as best friend...?
here's a random checklist...
1) be with u thru the ups and downs...
2) support u whenever necessary...
3) share things with u... chit chat... gossip... secrets... someone who u can talk to about sensitive stuffs....
4) spend most of ur free time with, shopping, leisure times...?
5) someone u can called upon and sense ur current emotion...

tat's juz some random and few things i feel tat it's important to be a 'best fren'... recently... i was interview by AO... she asked whether i have any best frens... i couldn't answer tat...

why...? i also dunno... once i tot to be my best fren... is now the past... there was lim hui(1) min... my primary badminton buddy... but tat was like 8 yrs ago le... though we still keep in touch once a while.. i haven seen him like 2+ yrs le...

then there's peter... haha.. maybe its juz mi... i tot tat we were both classmates and in the same CCA... feel tat he's one of the better fren in class... but he hangs out more with wee and others... playing lan and going out... he's still a good fren...

lolz.. no more... i could't say out anyone as best frens... all i can say is tat most of them are good frens... i'm hanging out with less and less ppl and spending less and less time with my frens... not tat i dun wan to...
1)its tat ppl ain't as free as during sch days...
2)they have other frens to be with... some have gf to go out with...
3)they are tired from previous activities...
4)too few ppl they dun wanna go...
5)one person dun wanna go... all dun wan to go...
6)exams... need time to study...

i'm once again tired... sick and tired... maybe i've been like tat for too long a time... some will think... go alone lor... true... for the past few years.. i've been doing stuffs alone... watch movies... buy clothes... go orchard walk alone... stuffs tat's normally accompanied by frens... i did them alone... and its not juz once or twice affairs... y and i leading such a life..?

some ppl thing tat being a storeman is easy life... OOT is easy life... everyday juz slack... no need go chiong shua... i dun deny tat... at times... its really abt slacking all the way... but when we have to do sai gang... its also very busy and hardship... for others... they think tat its nothing as compared to their respective vocation... or even to their 'carefree' civilian lives...

wat do u noe about mi..? wat rights u have to comment about mi..? juz becoz u are fit doesn't mean tat everyone's fit.. do u have flat feet..? even if u do... do u feel the pain i do..? jealousy and sarcastic comments is all tat i got from some 'smarty pants' who thinks tat they noe everything and give insulting comments... wat for i care... no one will remember u ppl no matter wat u write to attract attention... haha...

try having my legs and do the things i do... if not... its meaningless to make false comment about mi...

i'm noticing... she's not online anymore... dunno wat happen... dunno y..? maybe coz of mi... maybe i'm thinking too much... maybe i'm annoying her... sad... dunno wat else to feel... maybe she's too busy or too tired from work... i dunno... i've done most of my part... waiting for response to take the next step... but dun think its happening... hope she's all well...

Saturday, April 29, 2006

只对你说 莎郎嘿呦 - 林俊杰

歌曲:只对你说
歌手:林俊杰 专辑:曹操
词曲:林俊杰

站在寂寞的舞台上 灯光下拖着自己的影子
音乐重复我们共同的忧伤 不是每一次的演唱
就可以淡忘明天没有你
in my heart we'll never be apart
残留手上的香味提醒我 在数位相机里留下的承诺
每一封简讯传出的思念 都对你说
(我爱你)means i love you
代表着我离不开你 每分每秒每一个声音
只有你撒娇会让我微笑
(我爱你)只对你说
i will love you and forevermore
我答应 baby you will see
每一个我都属于你
oh baby i will love you because
我都属于你

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

1st day at work...

drama... forget to exchange back my 11B on my way home... sian½

everyone there seems fine...

kept the tables...

replenish the store for lecture and lessons materials...

intro around... ate at canteen coz my 11B not with mi...

tml going on duty... so booking out onli on friday evening... hopefully...

hope 1st duty dun get extra from mistakes...

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Field Camp week...

After booking in with my platoon 2 sundays ago... they started to get more and more busy as Live Range and Field Camp looms... results..?

my platoon 3 section 3, rec keith got the best shot for coy with 30... my bunk also got a marksman with 28 but he did re-shoot... my buddy scored 27... packed fresh rations for them during live range... as they came back at ard 3am the next morning... i chatted with sb still 1+ then slept... when i woke at 4+... everyone's asleep... hmm... wondering how many ppl really scared being alone... in dark... sleeping in a bunk of capacity 12 beds alone throughout the night...? hmmm...? i did... haha... especially for the past 2 nights...

they started their field camp on saturday morning... but my platoon got 3 ppl came back in the afternoon... chao geng..? maybe... but they sure are sick... maybe juz use it as the chance to rest and get out of field camp for a while... went to sect 2 to sleep with the guys... then sunday and yesterday i slept on my own at my bunk... its actually nothing...

then on tues afternoon... got the news tat i got my posting... posted to SCSC... somewhere in SAFTI... have to report by 9 tml... but i meeting kj 7 at the news stand at boonlay interchange... so i shld reach about 7++...

asked... its a 8 to 5.30 job... stay out... the building is far inside the camp... a long walk... hopefully i can make it... haha... temporary unable to bring my cam hp in... so it doesn't make much diff...

the onli other guy tat got posted out was sent to maju camp... at clementi... but its stay in... tat guy became sian½... coz everyone was saying tat the job there is very relaxing... then air-con somemore... but its stay in...

strained my shoulder muscle while unloading and carrying the jerry cans up the hill on the 1st day of fieldcamp... i felt tat the OOTs are being pushed ard by the storemens... though its clear tat onli one of them is abusing his power... then my shoulder is still hurting now... together with my ankles... yes... its hurting again... the weights of the jerry cans put alot of pressure on my legs...

and i thought tat leaving will going to be a peaceful affair... that was messed up by mi losing my 11B... ran here and there over the places i walked... ended up doing more damage to my leg while on search for my 11B... luckily got 1 spec from W coy told mi to go guard room and asked... found it there... then juz on time to catch the 4pm fast craft.. was supposed to get the 3pm... but was informed too late somemore i lost my 11B becoz i had to travel back to coyline to get the malaria thingy and was constantly taking out my hp... which my 11B was in with at the same pocket...

nothing lost... but some harms done... to my legs... hoping for a nice start at work tml...

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Guy Waiting For Love

Waiting...
Searching...
Tried...
Move Made...
Expressed...


No Sign...
No Answer...
No Clue...
Distances...?
Coldness...?


Continue...
Determined...
Faith...
Believe...
Love...

Friday, April 14, 2006

Recruit's life weekly...

lolz... Recruit's life weekly sounds nice.. haha... at least tat's wat happening now... being an OOT is not all slacking and relaxing... as we can lno longer participate with the activities... we have to do the odd jobs in the coy when needed... this week... more OOTs joined... some even becoz of same reason... chronic backpain... and mostly from platoon 1... where the gang at full of slackers... y do i say tat...? coz most of the time they are not at the office and rather... they are at their bunk doing their own things... as an OOT... they have to stay at the office most of the time or at least available to carry out duties assigned down by the commanders... tat's onli one of the few reasons y i dislike some... CG

this week was rather short due to GOOD FRIDAY... on friday... wat a coincidence.. lolz... sry... haha... but at times in the day... we were(some of the OOTs, excluding the slackers and new OOTs) rather busy... why..? coz field camp is next week... and the storeman pushed their duty to us to collect the stores needed.... we went like 4-5 trips down to the central store juz to collect the stuffs needed in field camp... dun think i'll put any details.. later if its military secrets... haha... basically juz went around the tekong doing errands...

when i juz got OOT... the strength was like onli 5-6... now it has doubled... to 12... in total.. including one who got posted to Changi navel base... and the rest are still waiting (impatiently) for the posting... one of the clerk say tat they are gathering 50 OOTs be4 they send out to the manpower to get posting... which will be within 4 days... but the other clerk say tat is not true... hmm... who to believe...?

the most important thing is tat i'll be confined with the coy for the field camp for next week... unless... i get posted out by then... their field camp starts on sunday... ending on next next saturday... meaning i can't book out next weekend... sian½... isn't it unfair as we have still have to go through field camp again if we re-course bmt again..?

looking at my frens... mostly busy with their uni exams and sch tests... so busy.. so little time to relax... feel for them.. hope they can pass their exam and test well... met up with a fren from my retained yr 1's first 3mth class.. passed her the phy tys... and had dinner... its her birthday on gd fri... but she's too busy being with her family and tests in sch... so onli met up for a short while after i book out on thurs nite... wanted to treat her dinner... but she insist not... so nvm lor...
actually i dun mind treating a person meal for their birthday... but have to see who and checking my own budget as well... i noe at least 2 person's birthday is coming this may... haha... dun force mi to treat u lor.. haha... i still have to save up for my uni fee if i dun get into local uni lor...

one of my bunk mates have the same result as mi and wanna go to SIM and study the same course type... haha... he's a nice guy... a devoted christian... haha.. pray be4 meal and slp... lolz... we lights out le he still sitting on bed and pray... and he's slow.. most of time last person the leave the bunk to fall in... haha...

next 2 weeks i'll be in camp most of the time... more happening than ever... coz 2 of the 3 components of passing BMT is up next week... hope my bunk mates make it and do well... the T coy's current record holder for best shoot is 31... anyone trying to beat tat record will have to record a perfect score of 32... good luck... i'll still be waiting for my posting... my medical appointment to MMI and medical board review on my PES status...

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Ice Age 2

Juz came back from sun tec after watching ICE AGE 2 with kevin, the private, with his Sgt hq... they were LATE...! hq by 20mins... kevin by 35mins...

not tat i wasn't late be4... but u can't make it a habit to be late everytime we meet up... and i mean everyone... even myself... i try to be on time when meeting with frens... sometimes i late too... but not all the time... but kevin seems to be late quite a few times le... he said ' u know i always late ma'... wah... dun lor... haha..

back to ice age 2... quite nice la... especially when they nearly parted at the end... one of the small guys fist his chest and bid goodbye... tat's like my fav 'move' lor... i like to do it when i score goals when playing fifa 2006... hehe... its veri brotherly... overall the movie's quite nice... 3½ pop corns.. cause i didn't see the 1st one... so ya... dunno how its related or how gd was the 1st... the squirral was adding fun to the movie all the time...

going to book in and leave home in half and hours time... bye... cya next week... my frens.. GOOD FRIDAY... call mi out... meet up... gatherings or sing K... thankz... for those mugging... good luck with ur exams....

Saturday, April 08, 2006

wat happened this week..

SUNDAY - Book in with the rest of my platoon... rested after going back to bunk...

Monday - Went to see MO after discovering tat my right big toe is bruised and swollen... i bend my toe but can't see the vein and its painful..! i was given excuse lower limb and footwear for 7days...
after tat i had to book out for my specialist appointment at NUH... rushed back home and had to finish my lunch fast and chiong to NUH... late by 2 min... lolz... 4pm the appointment.. waited for ard 30mins outside... went in and was out in less than 5min... here's wat happened inside....

Doc: how's ur legs..?
JT: its painful... i'm struggling with my activities...
Doc: raise ur leg... the other leg... hmm.. ok.. i'll give u excuse running for 1 year(i was like... huh..? again..?)
JT: ... ($&^%#A&^)
JT: i also have problem swimming... my right knee hurts when kicking under water...
Doc: the pain will go off... dun worry...
JT: ...($^&A&%#*&)
Of course it will go off la... not like i swim everytime wat... wat i wanna know is why it hurts during swimming...? and i wasn't given any answer... wat kind of specialist are u..?
Doc: go out and wait...
JT: ... (&^%A*@)

then while waiting outside... my queue number was flashing again.. so i went in...

Doc: y u here again..? go out go out....
JT: ...( @#&^@$@*) ... wat about other activities...? like road march and things...? coz ur excuse onli for running...?
Doc: Dun worry... go out and wait....
JT: ... (@&$A(%T*!$)

Left NUH at ard 5pm... went home and have dinner... sky was pretty dark... msg-ed her tell her its may rain soon...
after dinner then rush back to camp.. my attire wat C.V and sandals...

got back... the PS know my excuse from my specialist and he was rejoicing... then talked to him and he explained wat may happen to mi after i got this excuse from my specialist.. (@&$*@A&%@)

TUESDAY - excused from activities... went to washed the permstaff toilet... then in the afternoon when to see the MO to endorse the excuse from my specialist...

to summarised it...
1) he feels tat 1 yr excuse from running is ridiculous...
2) this is an straight OOT case... Out of Training... i cannot continue BMT with my platoon anymore... i will be posted out to do other things...
3) the MO is referring mi to see their own specialist at MMI... which is beside NUH... there... they will review my case... and they are definitely stricter than the stupid specialist at NUH...
4) currently the MO gave mi 84days excuse instead of the 1 yr given by my specialist...

I'm still waiting for them to call mi to tell mi the appointment with the MMI specialist...
waiting for my posting to do other things while i'm OOT... think i may need to re-course if i'm not able to downgrade... meaning i'll have to suffer PTP and BMT all over again... and i can say tat will be a painful experience...

Currently i'm emotionally wrecked...
1st... i'm OOT... i cannot train with my mates anymore... i cannot experience BMT... and i was onli 1 week away be4 BMT starts.,...

2nd... i'm still clueless whether my PES status will be reviewed and changed... cause definitely my condition will not recover in less than a year... i've been resting for the past 2 yrs already... so its no a temporary problem at hand... if i'm not downgraded... i will go thru PTP and BMT again abt 6mths be4 i ORD...

3rd... I concerned about my condition.... as i wasn't given any remedy and direct solutions to my problem... who can help mi...? i need solutions and not escape... the NUH specialist is trying to escape my case... constantly give mi excuse from running and not coming up with anythings to help mi... yes.. he did do something... push the job to the physio and another leg specialist where i got my insoles... and it doesn't help.. X-ray didn't find any abnormalities... wat thing else is there...? Cut off my leg...? wheel chair mi...?

suffering all these... i was really shocked and dunno wat to think... wanted to chat with frens... but rejected by most coz they are busy mugging for exams... and army life... no one to talked to on phone... wanted to call her... but perviously feel tat she's hesitant to chat on phone... so dropped the idea...

WED to FRI - began life as an OOT... stayed at the coy office... help out with the odd jobs... deliver documents and stuffs... read papers... listen to radio and watch a little tv at night... chat with the commanders inside... but tat's definitely not the kind of life i wan especially with my recruit life ended like tat... so sudden... ppl ard think tat i'm very happy as i can slack in the office...

pls lor... tat's onli partly true... who dun wanna slack... but once u remember tat u are still clouded by uncertainties... u won't feel tat happy anymore... and ppl kept calling mi names which is pissing mi off... chao geng...? try putting urself in my shoe... u think i wanna suffer in pain...? u ppl are too superficial... u will nvr go far judging ppl by wat u dun really understand...

u can say all u wan... call mi names.. say i chao geng... say tat u always garang... nah. its useless talking to those ignorant ppl...

LAstly... i'll like to wish those enlisting today or juz enlisted ppl to enjoy BMT... coz its the most memorable part of NS life... u get to see alot of ppl from other parts of SG tat's of all kinds..

Friday, April 07, 2006

Latest...!!!

I am OOT now... for more information... ask mi when u see mi online... i'm booking in on SUNDAY....

i'll give another update on the details later in the day...

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Weekly updates...

I was too sick to book in on sunday like the others... so i went to see doctor and got a MC... book in on monday nite as my MC is for sunday and monday... and i dunno how i lost one of my medication after we were asked to pour out our stuffs for the sgt to see...

even after finishing my cough syrup... i continued to cough.. and cough.. and it nvr seem like its getting any better... a rather short week but i wasn't feeling good with the coughing getting worse as each day past... after taking a few of the anti-biotics pills... the rashes came up... its veri annoying... coz u get like small little bumps all over ur skin.. especially the hand and finger... it even hurt a little... but i have to bear it alone... haiz...

but even if i'm unable to participate in the activities all week... my left ankle continue to hurt after the physio session on tuesday... i wonder how am i able to survive NS with both legs in pain... it will not be easy... hope the specialist i'm going to see on monday can do his job at last... or i'll need to seek another better professional with better services...

as of now..? i'm still coughing now and then... think most prob will go see doc in the morning... things at home changed quite a bit... haiz...