THe First Purely words Post oF the NEw YEar

Been think alot lately... maybe too much le ba... about lots of stuff... with my birthday coming up... mind u.. its 21st... now the real questions comes in...
(purely words and numbers, no pics)
why 21st..? why is it so important...? are other birthdays of a lesser meaning..?

undoubtly... coming of the age of 21 means alot... there are alot of decisions awaiting mi...

firstly, in Oct 2006, i received a letter from MOH regarding the HOTA(human organ transplant act). Its a big decision my fren.... tat's why i'm still waiting the right time to decide... most probably after my birthday ba... i'm enjoying the last few days of being twenty... haha...

secondly, something on a smaller note... my bank will start to charge mi $2 a mth, u shld understand why... haha...

thirdly, my birthday celebration is still undecided... dun think much can be achieved on 24th itself... next week going to ask my boss for birthday off... mostly like my schedule will be to sing k lunch at JEC, or if someone wanna go town i also dun mind... so far no one can confirm joining mi for tat... can't really do much but wait for answers and replies...

after tat 2-3 hrs of singing my hearts out... dunno wat's next then... probably will be too full for meals in a while... wanting to eat sushi... should be for dinner ba... still no ones able to confirm anything with mi yet... even though i noe there are frens willing to come and meet mi up... i will appreciate it...

last year was quite simple... no plans was made and everything seems last min too... went to sing k alone in the morning... walked ard abit... said hi to her(think she was still working there ba)... actually juz waved onli... think we nvr talked in person ba.. sob sob... then after tat... met up with wm, mw, kj and layping ba... went to eat seoul garden... wm treated... was nice when u have frens to celebrate with u... but this yr... who will be the ones...?

sms greetings/blesses is the least i can do normally for frens celebrating birthday... but hope this yr will be different ba... i mean from frens to mi... i hope to see them personally, meet up with all of my frens... from sec to jc... most importantly... is... you know where i'm heading...

sometimes i do wonder wat will be the consequences of mentioning ****** in my blog..? does *** view my blog at all..? i onli knows once in a while others will view my blog... cos they do leave comments at my cbox... i personally do make a visit to each of the active blog in my list at least once every two, three days... hoping to see something new, but most of my frens are weekly bloggers...

there's nothing much to say le ba... mostly kept in my thoughts... been really busy at work... everyday will be walking non stop and carry loads and loads of heavy stuff here and there... sometime even have difficulty in grasping my breathe... yea... the load seems so heavy tat i was struggling to even breathe properly... each one i take in seems to be withstanding the load, pushing mi on... and baring the pain... its not easy la...

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Yes... i maybe a loner... a loner for the past 21 yrs... a loner for maybe too long a time... i'm searching... i'm looking... i'm trying to relief myself from this situation... being alone at times is a blessing... but being alone all the time maybe a curse... for mi at least...

i wonder how... i wonder why... i wonder too much till i'm got myself lost... maybe someday... maybe tml... maybe i will... maybe i won't... to win a heart that's close to my heart...

I'm lost in the nothingness inside of mi... a crossroad it may seems...
on one way... its the path i'm pursuing... dream of taking... but this full of fog with the unknowns... i'm willing to take it provide i still the slightest of light to lead mi... the initial part maybe dangerous, but its part of the road to sweetness...

however, the other path seems to be clearer for view... its brighter... but it may end up being a much much longer route... or maybe not... its new... thus i have not gone before... but thinking abt it... i have nvr made much ground on such stuff... the back road is ready out of the question coz there's nothing to even start with...

so which path should i take..? persist.. or go for the new area??? i'm not a person tat give up easily...